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My Next SO

Something made me realise I don’t even know how I want my next boy to be. What an idiot Em. It’s been a singly single single special year. I can’t believe I never thought of myself in this plane of thinking. Single. Unsingle. I’m using unsingle because taken is way too patriarchal for me.But coming back to the point. When do we become people who have this added definition of single or not. I don’t know. I’m genuinely asking. Tweet me on @iamemanali. Also, please follow. Oh. My next boy. Jitters. I’ve spent the large part of months...okay, a year, okay two, getting over an anal extremely abusive douche bag despite knowing I escaped hell. And here I was, free from my curses, and for the first time in my life i am on the hunt, yes hunt cuz, I’m a tigress. It’s a separate issue the tigress wanders without a clue what she’s looking for.  Okay. Let’s think. Let’s think. OH. Cute. See i got one. Oh humour humour. But then all of this is subjective and is essentially compatibility. Specifi...
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The Case of Silent Moral Superiority

It bugs me you know. It bugs me no end. Why is it that one thing is better than the other? Why is it that one way of doing things is more acceptable than another way? If growing up has taught me anything it’s that everyone, and I mean every single person, is moving at their own pace and own their own timeline. Nobody has any idea what another is coping with in this world where you’re supposed to have a perfect life on display. Some have career stress, others have health or relationships or family. Or maybe something even more devastating. Or maybe they don’t have anything and just want to move at a pace where they get to be what they want to be.  How does it matter really? I mean, how does it matter to someone not integrally connected to the person?  Why do we have such strong opinions which we advocate and then have nothing better to do than shove them down other people’s throats all the while maintaining we’re non judgmental people?  I recently came across someone who w...
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The Case of Silent Moral Superiority

It bugs me you know. It bugs me no end. Why is it that one thing is better than the other? Why is it that one way of doing things is more acceptable than another way? If growing up has taught me anything it’s that everyone, and I mean every single person, is moving at their own pace and own their own timeline. Nobody has any idea what another is coping with in this world where you’re supposed to have a perfect life on display. Some have career stress, others have health or relationships or family. Or maybe something even more devastating. Or maybe they don’t have anything and just want to move at a pace where they get to be what they want to be.  How does it matter really? I mean, how does it matter to someone not integrally connected to the person?  Why do we have such strong opinions which we advocate and then have nothing better to do than shove them down other people’s throats all the while maintaining we’re non judgmental people?  I recently came across someone who w...
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Pick your battles or pick the time

I have been a short-tempered person for as long as I can remember. I am impatient and need answers- stat. Today, after spending time apart from someone I love a lot over after waging a pointless war for two days, I stopped and looked back. War is war. Whether it's on land or in your mind. It causes destruction. So what prevents war? I am not delusional enough to think I have answers for significant world problems here. But if we were living in an abstraction, what would it be that stopped war? That stopped people from fighting each other and killing each other? What is it that drives one to trespass onto another's territory- physical or metaphysical? Is it not anything but the lack of inner peace? Today, I believed that there was something bigger than myself in this world. Maybe, I was part of it. Maybe, I was emotionally invested in it. And maybe, it was unbelievably painful.
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The OLT Haze

I feel like I will remember this last month of college in phases. Phase I- The beginning When the end seemed to far away and things were just chill and happy, like all semesters. Just like any other semester, only lesser pressure. The epitome of seniority. Up until the midsems, this is how it was. Then suddenly the midsems came and things changed drastically. Phase II- The Holiday Season The time for beaches and road trips and photos and pretty dresses and food. One last trip with friends et al. I will remember the conversations, the laughter, the illegality :P, the insane amount of food, the incredible hours on the road and the mind numbing amount of music that we heard. The sun, the road, the smiles, it feels like it's just etched in my brain. Phase III- Party Time Carpe Diem was just one big three day blur. With the days spent out in the sun and the nights in a haze of all things toxic. Disco lights and dance music and moving till your feet cant move anymore...
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Let's clean.

How does mess get cleared up? It seems like a simple thing really. Then why, when our life is spiralling out of control and messy and dirty can't we clear it up? Why doesn't it seem like an easy thing then? In fact, why does it seem like the most God damned difficult thing in the world? You know why? Because we take it all in one go. Let me explain. Imagine a messy room. Wrappers all over it. Imagine the cupboard with unfolded clothes falling out of it.  Imagine the bedsheet undone and no place to sit. Now imagine. This  is your life. There is no masterstroke or magical clean sweep to get it all done in a second. You cannot do it one go. You know how that room goes from trashy to sparkly? You pick every single wrapper one by one and throw it in a bin. You pick every single cloth one by one and fold it, then put it in piles. You fix the bed sheet. You do the steps one by one. Within the steps, you do the sub-steps one at a time. There is no short cut. You have ...
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Uncovering Wisdom in a 12feet Pool

I went for my first swimming lesson today after a long time; and by a long time, I mean almost ten years. It's not that I am completely unaware of how to wade through water, but let's just say I'd rather be doing it only in situations when I'm forced to save my life. That is my experience with swimming. I do it in rare situations so as to not die. Anyway, I stood at the edge of the pool, too scared to get in. I mean, it was 12 feet deep. I don't mind dying but I'd rather not die with water flooding inside me. My instructor told me to get in. A strict as she was, I went down the steps. After a while she asked me to show her what I know. I stared at her. What if I drown? She told me to try so she could at least she what she had to teach. Grudgingly, I complied. After years, I swam with all I had towards the nearest support, after which I looked nothing less thana person who had just faced death. My eyes wide open, I looked at her accusingly. My instructo...
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