Em's Twisting Kaleidoscope

I have been a short-tempered person for as long as I can remember. I am impatient and need answers- stat. Today, after spending time apart from someone I love a lot over after waging a pointless war for two days, I stopped and looked back. War is war. Whether it's on land or in your mind. It causes destruction. So what prevents war? I am not delusional enough to think I have answers for significant world problems here. But if we were living in an abstraction, what would it be that stopped war? That stopped people from fighting each other and killing each other? What is it that drives one to trespass onto another's territory- physical or metaphysical? Is it not anything but the lack of inner peace? Today, I believed that there was something bigger than myself in this world. Maybe, I was part of it. Maybe, I was emotionally invested in it. And maybe, it was unbelievably painful.

I feel like I will remember this last month of college in phases. Phase I- The beginning When the end seemed to far away and things were just chill and happy, like all semesters. Just like any other semester, only lesser pressure. The epitome of seniority. Up until the midsems, this is how it was. Then suddenly the midsems came and things changed drastically. Phase II- The Holiday Season The time for beaches and road trips and photos and pretty dresses and food. One last trip with friends et al. I will remember the conversations, the laughter, the illegality :P, the insane amount of food, the incredible hours on the road and the mind numbing amount of music that we heard. The sun, the road, the smiles, it feels like it's just etched in my brain. Phase III- Party Time Carpe Diem was just one big three day blur. With the days spent out in the sun and the nights in a haze of all things toxic. Disco lights and dance music and moving till your feet cant move anymore...